I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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