is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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