im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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