i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
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The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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