Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
