Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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