STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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