You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
