I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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