its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
