We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
