you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
