Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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