Got a toothbrush?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
