you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
