you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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