Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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