when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
