remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
