Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
