I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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