By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
