just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
