why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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