apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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