From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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