I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
