i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
