I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Those nachos came to me in a dream
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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