I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's like God shit irony all over that family
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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