So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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