I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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