Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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