Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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