man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
