I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
