Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize