Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Nicole vs. Life
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize