69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
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Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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