happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
