dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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