i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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