It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
