We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
