i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
