you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
