someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
