Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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