i was born a porn star she said
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
