i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
