what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
