It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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