just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
