Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize