okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
