I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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