We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
