and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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