It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
