i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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