and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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