Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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