I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
